


both your hands in the holes of my sweater

by hilourry



Series: football/designer [2]
Category: One Direction
Genre: Angst, Comeplay, Designer Louis, Fluff, Football Player Harry, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Louis, Riding, Rimming, Somnophilia, buttplug, i forgot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 01:27:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4371863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilourry/pseuds/hilourry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After ten years together, Harry gets injured on the football field, forcing him to retire, and Louis and their kids are there to help him out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	both your hands in the holes of my sweater

**Author's Note:**

> this is the sequel to you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans. lots of tooth rooting kid fluff, mixed with some angst and mpreg

“Go papa!” Lucas shouts, standing next to Joshua by the window of the VIP box at the stadium. They’re seven now, and Louis thinks they actually understand a lot of the game. They’ve been watching it since they were newborns, so, it makes sense. They’ve got Harry’s jersey on, his number, 22, with Styles written on the back. Ava, though, being only two, would rather sit with Louis and her stuffed elephant. She couldn’t be bothered to care about papa. Sure, daddy stuffed her into a jersey, but that’s as much as she’ll allow.

“Papa’s doing well today, huh boys?” Louis asks, holding Ava on his lap, giving her back her pacifier after she dropped it. 

“Papa is always good,” Joshua says simply, and Louis grins. He’s not wrong. His kids are so immensely proud of their father, and Louis is right with them. Harry’s been MVP of his team three times in his career, and Louis knew he still has a couple good years left in him before he retires. He keeps in good shape, he’s extremely physically healthy and fit, and he loves what he does. 

Well, he _did_ have a good couple of years left, until today.

“Daddy?” Joshua says, looking over at Louis. Louis is currently fishing in his diaper bag to get a snack for Ava, but he looks up and sees Joshua looking worried.

“Yeah, honey?”

He didn’t realize the weird atmosphere of the stadium, the people standing around him staring at the field. He gets up and puts Ava on his hip, walking towards the boys.

“I think papa is hurt,” Lucas says, not taking his eyes off of the field. Harry almost never gets hurt; he’s always on his toes. But right now, he’s lying on the ground, his face contorted in severe pain as he yells. Louis’ chest tightens at the sight of seeing his Harry looking so absolutely wounded. He doesn’t see any blood, thankfully, and his legs look fine. There’s no bones popping out, nothing is twisted in absurd positions. But whatever it is, it’s extreme, because Louis has never seen him in this much pain before.

“Papa!” Ava yells unhappily, holding her hands out as if wanting to grab him. He can’t imagine how unsettling it is for his kids to see their dad like this. He turns Ava’s head away from it, putting it against his shoulder.

“Boys, c’mon, we’re going to go down and see what happened. Did you see how he went down?” Louis asks frantically, pulling the diaper bag over his shoulder and sparing another look at his husband.

“He turned really funny,” Lucas says. “Someone pushed his shoulder, I think. Then he fell.”

“Jesus,” Louis mumbles to himself, thinking of all the worst possible scenarios. He rushes down to the field with the twins running behind him and Ava whimpering unhappily. 

He gets down there, running to the coach and not caring about anyone looking at him or the too-young kids on the field. The team PT is trying to talk to Harry while they wait for the ambulance to come and take him to the hospital. 

“What the hell happened?” Louis asks Harry’s coach whom Louis has gotten to know fairly well through the years, along with his teammates. 

“Not sure yet,” the coach says, clearly put off by this and worried that one of his best players is injured. Severely. 

“How did this happen?”

“Someone from the other team shoved him and he twisted pretty bad before he went down.”

Louis looks at Lucas, who is staring at his suffering father helplessly, and realizes that’s exactly what he said happened. Harry’s screams can be heard throughout the entire stadium. Louis feels like he can’t breathe. 

“Can I go see him?” Louis asks dumbly, needing to hold Harry’s hand and tell him it’s all going to be okay, that he’s here. 

“Yeah, of course. He’d like to see you.”

Louis walks over to Liam, shoving Ava at him. “Hold her for me? I don’t want the kids having to see him like this. Not right now. I mean, not up close. This is bad enough.”

“Do you want me to meet you guys at the hospital?” Liam asks, holding Ava against his chest.

“Would you mind?” Louis asks. Liam has always been his favorite. He’s always coming over for dinner and they always do stuff together. Louis has no idea why he hasn’t found someone to marry yet. He’d be a wonderful husband.

“No, not at all. Three kids is a lot to handle right now. Just be with Harry, he’s going to want you to come with him.”

“I figured,” Louis says, needing Harry just as much as he needs him. “Thanks, Li.”

“No problem, go to him.”

Louis kisses Ava and ruffles the twins’ hair and runs to Harry. He drops to his knees beside him, not caring about his brand new white jeans. He grabs Harry’s hand and holds it close, allowing himself to cry now.

“Harry, baby, it’s me. What hurts?” Louis asks, trying to seem as calm as possible.

“Back,” Harry moans in pain, tossing it head to the side to look at Louis. “Can’t move.”

“You’re okay,” Louis insists. He doesn’t like the sound of Harry not being able to move. He’s no doctor, but not being able to move after a back incident is not good. He feels sick. “We’re going to take you to the hospital and the doctors are going to fix everything and you’re going to feel much better. Hold my hand, okay? I’m right here, honey.”

“Kids,” Harry says, trying to look around.

“With Liam. They’ll be at the hospital waiting for papa,” Louis reassures him, kissing his hand. 

“’m scared,” Harry admits, his eyes starting to close. Louis thinks the pain must be too much and he’s going to go unconscious soon. 

“I know, baby, but can you stay with me, please? Just look at me. Don’t close your eyes. Please, Harry, just keep looking at me,” Louis sobs.

“Hurts so bad,” Harry mumbles. Thankfully, he’s no longer screaming in pain, but Harry being unconscious isn’t any better. 

“I know, sweetie, I know,” Louis leans down to kiss his sweaty forehead. “I see the EMTs coming right now, though. They’re here to help you.”

Harry doesn’t stay conscious for much longer, falling off when the EMTs come to get him onto a stretcher. 

“I need to come with him,” Louis says. “I have to say with him.”

“Are you his husband?” one of the EMTs asks.

“Yes.”

“Alright, climb in.”

Louis follows Harry, sitting next to him and holding his limp hand. His stomach is churning uncomfortably at the thoughts of what could be wrong. Louis has a sinking feeling that this was Harry’s last game. Money isn’t a problem for them, with Louis’ clothing line being more successful than ever and Harry’s salary putting them well off until they die. But if Harry doesn’t play football, Louis has no idea what Harry will do. He’s going to be absolutely devastated. He’s been doing this for over ten years, and this is how he has to end it. It doesn’t seem very fair.

Louis just prays that Harry isn’t paralyzed. He doesn’t want to even think of the possibility, but it keeps eating away at him. They’ve got three kids who are practically just babies, and Louis doesn’t think he could handle all of this alone. He needs Harry there to run around with the boys in the backyard while Louis puts Ava down for a nap, or while Louis is trying to get some work done and can’t handle all the noise of three kids. It’ll take a huge toll on their whole family, and Louis can’t imagine how hard it would be. But they don’t even know what’s wrong yet, so Louis won’t jump to conclusions. 

“How long have you two been together?” an EMT asks, trying to distract Louis, he guesses. He’s currently feeding an IV into Harry’s vein as he speaks, and Louis flinches.

“Nine years. It’ll be ten in September.”

“Congratulations,” he smiles. “That’s wonderful. Any kids?”

“Twin boys and a little girl,” Louis tries to smile when he thinks about his kids. 

“Must be proud of their dad, huh? Definitely cool to get to come to games for free and say that the quarterback is their father.”

“Yeah, our daughter is too young to get it. She ignores it as much as she can, but our boys are starting to get the sport now and they’re really into it. They love going and supporting papa,” Louis tears up again. He hopes they’re doing okay with Liam.

“We’ll take good care of him, promise,” the EMT soothes. “He’ll walk out like nothing happened.”

Louis sighs, having a feeling that’s not true.  
~  
“Mr. Styles?” a doctor comes out into the waiting room. He’s got Ava sleeping on his chest and Liam is letting the boys play with his iPad to keep them busy. Louis stands up carefully holding Ava close.

“How is he?” he asks quietly. 

“He’s got a herniated disc. It’s pretty severe, and we think the sudden, forceful twisting that he did on the field must have caused it to slip the way it did. We’re going to have to do surgery to repair it before the vertebrae suffer damage and he’s with back pain forever.”

“God,” Louis sighs. “Is it dangerous? The surgery?”

“There is a possibility of paralysis,” the doctor says slowly. “But it’s very unlikely. Our orthopedic surgeon is one of the best. It’s in Harry’s best interest that we do it right away and then get him started on physical therapy.”

“His football career is over, innit?”

“I’m afraid so. 49ers are going to lose such a valuable player, unfortunately,” the doctor sighs. “You can come see him before surgery. He’s been asking for you ever since he came to after his MRI. We’ll give you two some time to talk before we take him in, but we have to take him in soon.”

“Is he still in a lot of pain?”

“He’s on pain killers, but he’s very uncomfortable. Someone will be in to explain to you both what to expect and what it’ll be like afterwards.”

“Thank you,” Louis says. He doesn’t think he wants the kids to see Harry, not like this. He’s probably full of drugs and IVs and tubes and he doesn’t want them getting scared. They’ll see him after, when he looks more like their papa. 

He drops Ava off with Liam, telling them he’s going to see papa and they can see him a little later. Liam takes them home for now, which Louis is grateful for. He doesn’t want his kids stuck in the hospital. He tells Liam he’ll be home soon and figure out what exactly he’s going to do. 

He goes into Harry’s room hesitantly, knocking on the door quietly before stepping in. Harry looks just as bad as he thought he would; IVs, tubes, the whole scary package. 

“Harry,” Louis whimpers, walking over to him and grabbing his hand. “Hi, honey. How are you feeling?”

“Louis,” Harry mumbles tiredly. “You’re here.”

“I’ve been here the whole time. They didn’t want me to see you. I was with the kids in the waiting room. Liam just took them home for now. They’ll come see you after your surgery, I promise.”

“Surgery,” Harry moans pitifully. “No more football.”

“No more football,” Louis agrees sadly. “I’m so sorry, babe. But lets focus on getting you better first. That’s the most important thing. We’re going to get through this.”

“Hurts so much,” Harry groans. “So much pain.”

“I know, sweetheart. But soon they’re gonna put you under and you won’t feel anything. It’s going to hurt for a while but we’re going to go to physical therapy and make you feel so much better. I’m here for everything,” Louis promises, kissing the inside of his palm. 

“I love you,” Harry says. “Thank you.”

“I love you too. You gave us a proper scare. The boys were so worried, and Ava was reaching out for you when she saw you on the ground screaming. They can’t wait to see you.”

“I’m glad they can’t see me like this. I must look like some sort of monster,” Harry says.

“A little bit. That’s why I sent them with Liam. They can see you when you’re settled.”

“That’s a good idea.”

A doctor comes in to explain what’s going to happen. Louis holds Harry’s hand tightly as the doctor speaks, unable to control his nerves. It’s going to take a minimum of six weeks for Harry to recover, probably longer. He’s going to have to be very careful about lifting, twisting, and bending, which is going to be tough with three kids at home. Louis doesn’t know what the fuck they’re going to do. 

“We’re going to prep you for surgery now, if you’re ready,” the doctor says. “It should only be about an hour. It’s a pretty standard procedure, but we think Harry’s may be more severe than what we’re used to, so we’re going to play it by ear. He’ll be out for a while after the surgery, so if you want to go home to your kids you can.”

Louis looks over at Harry and shakes his head, squeezing his hand. “No, I’m going to stay with him, if that’s okay. I don’t want him to wake up alone.”

“Lou, that’s alright. You should go see the kids,” Harry says.

“They’re okay with Liam. I’ll call your mum and let her know what happened and maybe she can watch them for us,” Louis says. “They should be going down for the night soon anyway.”

“I’ll be okay alone.”

“Harry, stop it. I’m not going anywhere. You were there for me when I had the kids and I’m going to be here for you this time. I can work on some designs while I wait for you and I’ll spend the night if they let me.”

“Of course,” the doctor says. “Partners are welcome to stay.”

“See?” Louis says. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Alright,” Harry sighs. “I’m ready now.”

They prep Harry for surgery right away, not wanting to waste any time. Louis calls Anne in the meantime, explaining what happened and she offers to watch the kids before he can even ask. She’s quite a fantastic grandmother. 

“Harry, we’re going to take you for surgery now, okay? Say goodbye to your husband,” a doctor says.

“Lou,” Harry says, reaching out for his hand and Louis grabs it. “I love you. If anything happens to me, I want you to move on and be happy and take care of our babies, okay?”

“Shut it, Harry,” Louis sniffs. “You aren’t dying. It’s a standard procedure. No one is dying. You’re going to be okay.”

“I know,” Harry agrees. “But just in case.”

“No, no just in case. You’re going to be absolutely fine. Give me a kiss and go, okay? I’ll be right here when you wake up,” Louis says, trying to hold back his tears. He knows Harry will be okay, the chance of paralysis very slim, but he keeps worrying.

He leans down to kiss him, pushing his hair out of his face. “I love you so much. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“I love you too,” Harry says, kissing him once more. “Tell the kids papa says he loves them and can’t wait to see them.”

“Of course,” Louis nods. “They love you, too.”

Louis watches them wheel Harry away and he lets out a shaky breath. He goes down to the cafeteria to fetch a cup of tea to help calm his nerves. He hopes the hot drink and soothing taste will help him relax, but it fails. He drums his fingers on the table and sighs, needing a distraction more than anything. He calls Liam to check on the kids, but they’re all fine and busy running around, so Louis doesn’t ask to talk to them. Hopefully, they’ll stay distracted and not be worried about papa like Louis is.

So, he does the only thing that truly distracts him. He asks someone in the lobby if they have any paper and something to write with, and they hand over a few pieces of white computer paper and a pen. Louis smiles gratefully and goes back to his small table and sits down. He starts to draw new designs, something that always gets him out of his head and focused on that one thing. It’s always been the best way for him to clear his head and stop his worries. Sometimes, when the kids were getting to be too much for one day and Harry could see Louis getting overwhelmed, he’d kiss him and send him off to his office, where he has all his supplies, including a large desk placed in front of the window with a view of their big backyard and pool. Harry would let Louis stay up there and work on his clothes or just draw whatever came to him, and he’d always finished up feeling so much better. It’s his favorite way to unwind.

Well, that and sex. But that’s not really an option at the current moment. He’ll have to make due. 

He’s able to draw up a complete lingerie piece by the time a doctor comes in to find him. It’s not his best sketch, considering it’s just a piece of computer paper and a black pen, but he can always resketch it properly when he gets the chance. He sort of loves how it came out, regardless. 

“Harry’s out of surgery,” the doctor informs him. “We’ll run some tests to make sure everything is okay, but the surgery was successful, from what we can tell. Of course, he’ll have to retire, because there’s no way his back can handle that kind of strain anymore, and he’ll have to be very gentle about lifting and bending for a while. He’ll probably suffer from pain every now and again after he heals, but we’ll give him pain meds for all that and a brace for if it’s getting really bad. Once he has his PT and everything, though, he should be good to go.”

“Oh, thank god,” Louis sighs. “Alright, well, I’ll talk to him about the football thing. I think it’s better I be the one to tell him about it. Thank you so much, doctor.”

“Of course. He’ll probably be out for a while but you’re more than welcome to stay in his room and wait until he wakes up.”

“Great, thank you,” Louis nods, following the doctor into Harry’s recovery room. Harry looks so surprisingly peaceful, lying in the hospital bed. Usually, when he sleeps, his mouth is wide open, a little bit of drool by his chin, and snoring so loud Louis doesn’t know how he sleeps next to him. But now, all pumped up full of drugs, his mouth his closed and there’s no snoring or drool. He looks almost childlike. Louis almost wants to ask the doctor to give them some of whatever the hell he’s on now to take home. 

He sits next to Harry and pushes his hair out of his eyes. He gives his forehead a kiss before taking his hand and lying back in his chair. He closes his eyes, just to rest for a minute, but he’s pretty sure he can feel the sleep taking over him.

When he wakes up, it’s because his phone is incessantly buzzing in his pocket. He groans and fishes it out, seeing it’s Liam. He was definitely supposed to call him before falling asleep. Whoops.

“Hey, Li,” Louis whispers, glancing over at Harry, still sleeping. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything is fine,” Liam says. “I was just wondering if you have any news?”

“Yeah, right. Sorry I didn’t call sooner; fell asleep. He ruptured a disc in his spine, so they did surgery. He’s out now but still asleep, so we can’t be sure how he’s doing yet. They said the surgery went well, though, so they’re expecting good results. You won’t see him back on that field, though,” Louis says quietly, playing with the hem of his shirt. “He’s going to have to be careful, and it’s too dangerous to put that sort of strain on him after this. He’s going to have to retire. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him.”

“Just explain it to him gently. I’m sure he’s going to be in so much pain when he wakes up that he won’t even care. He’s just going to want to get better,” Liam says.

“Yeah, that’s what I hope,” Louis sighs. “Kids are good?”

“Yeah, just finishing up dinner.”

“Let me…okay, tell them I’ll be there soon. I’ll take them home and put them to bed. Maybe I can have Harry’s mum come to watch them. You have practice tomorrow morning and I don’t want them getting out of routine with their sleep and stuff. Ava’s been having trouble sleeping and I think it would be best for her to sleep in her own bed.”

“Are you sure? I can watch them,” Liam says.

“No, really, it’s okay. Thank you so much for all you’ve done. I’ll be there in a little while, okay?”

“Alright, see you soon.”

Louis hangs up and sighs, putting his phone away. When he looks back at Harry, he’s awake, looking upset and angry and tired and dejected. Shit.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Louis says softly, sitting on the side of Harry’s bed and kissing him softly. “How are you feeling?”

“I heard what you said,” Harry announces, his voice strained. “I heard everything.”

“You did?” Louis gasps. “Shit, Harry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to tell you that way.”

“Would have had the same result,” Harry says simply. “My career is over.”

“Your life isn’t, though. Now you can sleep in, and you can spend more time at home with us, and you won’t have to be constantly traveling. You can let yourself go if you want to! I can feed you a whole chocolate cake for dinner if you want!” Louis tries to smile at him. Harry doesn’t reply. “Honey, I know it’s awful, but we’re going to get through this. We need to make sure you’re okay. The kids need you and I need you to be okay. Besides, who’s going to do all the heavy lifting without you around? No one is as strong as you.”

“This is all I know,” Harry says, looking down at his lap. “This is all I’ve really ever done.”

“That is untrue,” Louis says. “You are a husband, and you are a father, and those are the most important jobs in the world. You are amazing, football player or not. We are going to get through this one day at a time. Like I said, our first priority is getting your back strong again. Gotta be able to pick up the kids, right? Especially our little princess Ava.”

“No piggy back rides for her for a while, I guess,” Harry says with a small smile. “Gonna be devastated.”

“They already are,” Louis tells him. “They were so worried about you. I didn’t even see it happen, I was getting something for Ava, and the boys had to tell me. Ava was so upset when she saw you that she started to reach out for you. They love you so much. I think they’re just going to be happy that you’re back home with them.”

“Yeah, I hope so,” Harry says softly. Louis kisses his forehead and plays with his hair. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay. Are you in a lot of pain?”

“Not yet, no. I’m sure it’ll happen soon.”

“They’re going to set you up with lots of pain killers and a back brace. And soon you’ll start your PT and fix you up.”

“Good,” Harry nods. “Okay. Will you come to PT with me?”

“Oh, honey, of course! I’ll be by your side every step of the way, I promise. I’ll be right next to you to hold your hand. I’ll even give you back massages if they let me,” Louis winks. “I’ll make sure you feel good.”

Harry smiles at him, and Louis can tell it’s forced, but that’s okay. It’s a smile.

“I hate to leave, but I have to go get the kids from Liam’s house. You know Ava hates sleeping at places that aren’t the house and she needs all of her stuffed animals with her. I’m going to see if your mum can watch them so I can come back here. They can visit you tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to come back, Lou. You can stay with them if you want to. I know how Ava gets without you to put her to bed. I’ll be okay by myself overnight. I’ll just be sleeping, anyway. It’s really okay,” Harry urges.

“No, baby, no. I want to stay with you. Just in case you need anything, I want to be here.”

“You know,” Harry says. “They have these people here, called nurses. They’re quite lovely, and they tend to help patients when they need it. They even have this fancy button that lets me call the nurse when I need them.”

“Smart ass,” Louis smiles. “I don’t want any hot nurses coming in to take care of you when I can do it myself. I’d rather be your hot nurse.”

“You gonna get a pair of scrubs, too? That’ll complete the role,” Harry shrugs.

“I’ll be back later, Mr. Dirty Minded,” Louis rolls his eyes. “Call me if you need me for anything. Do you want me to bring you anything?”

“Just a pair of sweats or something to change into when I leave,” Harry says.

“Do you want your pillow?” Louis asks, knowing Harry loves their expensive bed that fits his body so well with their Egyptian cotton sheets, and the hospital bed is not exactly the same thing.

“Nah, I’m really okay. It’s probably just a night here, I’ll be fine, baby,” Harry promises. “Go ahead and get to the kids and give them a kiss for me.”

“Obviously,” Louis smiles, kissing him softly. “I’ll be back soon.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Louis presses one last kiss to his forehead before he forces himself to leave the room. They never leave one another without saying I love you. It’s just a thing they do. Even if they’re fighting, they make sure to say it so the other knows this is stupid and it’ll blow over. He thinks it works pretty well.

He calls Anne on the way to Liam’s, explaining what happened and letting out a few frustrated sobs at how stressed he feels by all of this. Anne shushes his comfortingly and telling him she’ll be at the house before he is. He loves his mother-in-law. 

When he gets to Liam’s house, Liam answers the door with a crying Ava in his arms, bouncing her desperately. Louis takes her from him quickly, holding her close to his chest and rubbing her back. She calms down within seconds and puts her face in his neck, just whimpering softly, trying to catch her breath. Liam looks both frustrated and stunned. Louis smiles a little at him.

“She doesn’t like to be bounced,” Louis shrugs. “She likes her back rubbed, though. And I think she must have just missed me. It must have been a rough day for her. Did she nap?”

“She fell asleep for a few minutes but it seemed fitful. She kept moving around and it didn’t last very long.”

“Yeah, she’s cranky,” Louis says, pouting at his daughter. “Boys are okay?”

“Yeah, just watching TV. I think they’re tired, though,” Liam says. “Can barely keep their eyes open.”

Taking them to football games always makes them tired, and that’s a win for both him and Harry, really. He thinks it’s about bedtime for them all. Louis nods and walks into the living room to find his boys leaning into the couch, eyes drooping. 

“Hi, boys,” Louis says, dropping a kiss onto each of their foreheads. “Go get your shoes on so we can go home, okay?”

“Is papa okay?” Lucas asks. “Is he home?”

“Not yet, but papa is okay. He’ll be home tomorrow, I think. They just want to make sure he’s all better before he comes home,” Louis promises. “He misses you guys. He says he loves you very much.”

“Can we see him?” Joshua asks.

“No, honey. Not tonight. He needs lots of rest, so he’s sleeping right now. Like you guys need to be doing. You’ll see him tomorrow, I promise.”

“Alright,” Joshua sighs.

Louis gets the kids rounded up with another profuse thank you to Liam and drives back to the house. His body feels so tired, even after his short nap. He can’t wait to get back to Harry and fall asleep for the night.

He gets the kids settled into bed after greeting Anne. Thankfully, Ava calms down once she’s in her own nursery, clinging to Louis with droopy eyes and body pliant and tired. It’s been a hard day for her, Louis can imagine. He kisses her with soft lips before putting her down in her bed, giving her the stuffed elephant Harry bought her the day she was born. It’s still her favorite stuffed animal, Harry taking the liberty of naming it Peanut. She doesn’t go very far without it.

“Goodnight, angel,” Louis murmurs, kissing her forehead again. He turns on her nightlight and shuts the door softly.

The boys tuck themselves in lately, which makes Louis insanely sad, if he’s honest. He doesn’t love the idea of them growing up and not needing their dads anymore. They can always have another kid, as many as they want, actually, but they need to focus on Harry for a while. After getting pregnant the first time and falling absolutely in love with it, he was so grateful it happened. He got past the embarrassment quickly, because he didn’t really have anything to be embarrassed about, and now, he can give them another baby whenever they see fit. There’s no worry, no stress over adoption or surrogacy. It’s the two of them building their own family. Plus, money isn’t an issue, considering Harry has enough money to last them forever, plus the amount Louis has from his own business, they could have twenty kids and not worry about finances. 

He goes into the twins’ bedroom, bidding them both goodnight and trading kisses with them. He promises that papa will be just fine, and they’ll see him tomorrow. He knows that they’re worried about him, nervous of the fact that papa is staying in the hospital and isn’t home to go through their bedtime routine with them. Every night, Harry gets them into their pajamas before leading them into their football-theme en-suite bathroom. Harry always brushes his teeth behind the two of them, making sure they brush for the full two minutes. Afterwards, they pick out a book or continue one they’ve already started, going into the sunroom and plopping on the couch, Harry in the middle. The boys take turns reading chapters of books on their recommended second-grade reading list, Harry sitting there and gently helping them when they get stuck. Louis will come into the sunroom, usually, smiling fondly as he watches on. Once the boys get too tired to continue, Louis and Harry will lead them into bed, kissing them both and saying goodnight before turning on their separate nightlights and leaving the bedroom, usually hand in hand. They’ve developed this flawless routine over the years, even when they were just babies. Harry would bring them into the sunroom, put them on his lap, and read them books. The only days he ever misses is when he’s away at a game, but even then, he calls Louis on a FaceTime call, no matter what time of day it is, to get them to read with him. This will be the first time he isn’t able to in a long time.

“Can papa still play football?” Lucas asks, pulling the blanket up higher on his body.

“No, sweetheart, he can’t,” Louis says slowly. “But now, he’ll be home more. He can spend more time with us.”

“Is he sad?” Joshua asks.

“Yeah, baby, he’s very sad, so we need to make him really happy when he comes home. Can we do that?”

“Yeah,” Lucas nods vigorously. “We can draw him pictures.”

“He’d love that,” Louis smiles. “Maybe we can make him some cookies or cupcakes.”

“Papa loves cupcakes,” Joshua agrees. 

“He does,” Louis laughs. “Okay, get some sleep, boys. Be good for grammy, okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” the twins say at once. Louis gives them each a kiss, then leaves their bedroom. He bids goodbye to Anne, promising to call her tomorrow morning with more results and drives himself back to the hospital. 

Harry is asleep when Louis gets into his room, so he smiles softly and curls into bed next to him as carefully as he can. He rests his hand on Harry’s chest, feeling the steady thumping of his heart under his palm. He closes his eyes and allows himself to not worry, to not think about how much is about to change.  
~  
Bringing Harry home isn’t too hard, actually. He has to be extremely careful with his back, and he’s got a brace on it to make sure he won’t reinjure it for now, but it’s not impossible. Ava is absolutely heartbroken when her papa won’t pick her up, throws a proper tantrum, which, in turn, brings Harry to frustrated tears. Louis kisses his forehead and grabs Ava, bringing her outside into the cool air and hoping to calm her down. 

“Papa’s back is very hurt,” he explains gently to his two-year-old. “We don’t want papa to get hurt, right? We want papa to be happy, don’t we?”

“No papa hurt,” she agrees, sighing against Louis’ shoulder. That tantrum really took the energy out of her.

“Mhm, so papa can’t pick you up for a little while. But daddy will pick you up, okay? As much as you need,” Louis promises, kissing her curly hair. She yawns and snuggles closer, and Louis thinks it’s time for an early nap. “Do you want some warm milk, sweetheart? Then you and Peanut can take a little nap?”

“Yes please daddy,” she says, yawning again. 

“That’s my girl,” Louis murmurs, kissing her forehead. He loves his kids so, so much it aches.

He walks into the living room where Harry is lying on the couch, settled as best as he can, and the twins are feeding him the cupcakes they made with Louis. Louis grins.

“Need anything, honey?” Louis asks, playing with the hair on Ava’s head as he speaks.

“No, I’m fine, babe,” Harry says. “Ava okay?”

“Just tired and cranky, I think,” Louis says. “I’m gonna warm up some milk and put her down for a nap.”

“That’s a good idea,” Harry agrees, letting Joshua put blue frosting on his lips. Harry pretends to try and eat his finger for it. 

“I’ll be right back. Boys, make sure not to hurt papa, yeah? Be easy with him,” Louis reminds them carefully.

“Yes daddy,” Lucas agrees, licking pink frosting off of his own vanilla cupcake.

“And don’t make too much of a mess,” Louis pleads. Not like Harry can help him clean anymore, at least for a while.

“I’ll watch them,” Harry promises. “Go put Ava down.”

“I’ll be right back,” Louis promises. 

He walks into the kitchen to warm up milk for Ava, pouring it into a sippy cup and handing it over to her. She takes it gratefully and Louis kisses her cheek, bringing her upstairs to her bedroom. He puts her down and makes sure she’s got her blanket, and most importantly, Peanut. She takes him gratefully while sucking down her milk happily, her eyelids falling slowly. Louis smiles fondly, unable to believe that she came from him, that him and Harry _made_ her, together, that she’s half Louis and half Harry. He doesn’t think he’ll ever fully get used to those thoughts.

“Sleep well, baby,” Louis whispers, kissing her forehead and pushing her hair off of her forehead. She blinks sleepily at him, rubbing Peanut over his arm as if to tell him she loves him. Louis’ heart nearly bursts in his chest. “I love you, angel. I’ll be downstairs with papa and your brothers if you need me, okay?”

She gives him a nod and closes her eyes, which just shows Louis how absolutely knackered she is. She’s been having a difficult time sleeping lately, giving Louis a hard time about it, but she so willingly went down today, which is a testament to how exhausted she is. 

Louis leaves the room quietly, giving another glance to his baby girl before walking back downstairs. He often thinks about his life, about how perfect it is. He doesn’t have to worry about financial strain for him and his family, because they’re secure enough to last three lifetimes. He knows no matter how many kids they have, they can all go off to college and live comfortable lives because of their parents’ careers. He’s able to have so much, it feels like. He’s managed to start his own clothing line, something he always thought would be a distant dream. He can do what he loves most for a living, and that’s insane. On top of that fact, he’s got the best husband in the world, a husband who loves him and would do anything for their family, who’s always there to support them and comfort them. Plus, one of the most amazing parts of his life is being able to have Harry’s baby, to have the power to determine how many they have and when they have them. There’s no middleman for them. It’s all them, which not every couple gets to have, especially same-sex couples. He takes serious pride in the fact that he can do something so amazing for him and his husband. 

He sometimes gets overwhelmed with how great his life is, even if they have some bumps along the way. 

Louis sits down on the couch next to Harry’s chest, playing with his hair and dropping a kiss onto his temple. 

“What are we doing over here?” Louis asks.

“Eating cupcakes, daddy,” Joshua explains easily.

“I see that,” Louis laughs. “Don’t eat too much, boys. You have to eat dinner soon. You’ll get a tummy ache.”

“We know,” Lucas explains, drawing on the coffee table next to his brother. Louis assumes they’re pictures of Harry.

“They’re drawing pictures for me,” Harry says, as if he can read Louis’ mind, which isn’t even very surprising anymore. 

“Very nice of them,” Louis hums. “Feeling okay? Any pain?”

“Not much,” Harry says. “I mean, I think the meds work pretty well. I’m sure once I start PT I’ll probably have some pain, after I start moving again. But, I’ll get there.”

“You will,” Louis agrees. “I’m glad it’s not too painful, though.”

“Yeah,” Harry says. “Me too.”

“Papa, I’m done!” Joshua says happily, holding up his drawing to show Harry. Louis worries his bottom lip when he sees it, and Harry’s face seems to drop. He lets out a sob, frustrated and angry, before a few tears fall down his cheeks. Lucas and Joshua both look sad, and Louis feels panic in his chest.

“Do you hate it?” Joshua asks, his bottom lip trembling.

“No, baby,” Louis says quickly for Harry. “He doesn’t hate it, he’s just sad.”

The picture is of Harry on a football field. He’s got a ball in his hand with his jersey on, and it must finally bring Harry to his breaking point. He hasn’t shown much emotion on the subject yet, only focusing on the pain and his physical well being, but hasn’t dealt with what the bottom line of it all.

“He’s sad that he can’t play football anymore, honey,” Louis says softly, sitting on his knees next to the boys. “The picture is beautiful, sweetheart, and it’s so lovely, but papa is sad about not playing anymore.”

“I didn’t mean to make him sad,” Joshua says quietly.

“It was an accident, baby, no worries. No crying, okay?” Louis says, pushing his straight hair out of his eyes, so similar to his own hair. Joshua nods sadly and Louis pulls him into a hug. 

“Josh,” Harry sniffs, reaching out his hand. Joshua puts his hand into Harry’s so he can hold it, and Harry pulls him closer. “Give papa a kiss, please.”

Joshua sighs but gives him a kiss, considering he can’t initiate it himself anymore.

“I’m not mad at you, sweetheart. The picture is so lovely. You did such a nice job with it, but daddy is right. I’m just sad because I can’t play anymore. It’s not your fault at all, Joshua, and I don’t want you to cry. Don’t cry, okay?”

Joshua nods. “Okay, papa, you can’t cry, either.”

Harry smiles and kisses his hand. “I won’t anymore, okay? No more crying in our house.”

“Except Ava,” Lucas says. “Ava cries a lot.”

“She does,” Louis laughs. “But Ava is still little, she’s allowed. But we’re going to be happy now, right? We’re all gonna be happy and make papa feel better.”

“Right,” Joshua nods.

“What did you draw, Luke?” Harry asks, playing with Joshua’s hair. 

“I drew us when we went to the zoo for our birthday,” Lucas says, holding up the picture. It was their fifth birthday, back when Louis was pregnant with Ava. They absolutely loved it, because all their friends were there, and they got to see all their favorite animals. It wasn’t as wonderful for Louis, considering he gave birth two weeks later, and he was huge and uncomfortable, but it was for his boys, so he sucked it up. Overall, a success day.

The picture is of the four of them holding hands, Louis’ belly huge and ‘Ava’ written over it, making Louis and Harry laugh. 

“We haven’t taken Ava to the zoo yet,” Harry thinks out loud, frowning. 

“Yes we did,” Lucas argues, pointing to Louis’ belly on the picture. “She’s right there, I wrote her name.”

“She didn’t get to see anything, babe,” Louis laughs. “She came with us but couldn’t see the animals and didn’t get to have ice cream like you boys did. We’ll have to go again once papa feels better. Would you boys like that? You can teach Ava about all the animals there. She’d love that.”

“She could bring Peanut and see big elephants!” Joshua says happily. “She’d love that!”

“You’re right,” Harry grins. “And you could see the giraffes again, your favorite. And Lukey could see the lions again. Papa won’t be as busy anymore, so we can go right when I get better.”

“I can’t wait!” Lucas says happily, and Louis grins. They’re so good to their sister, and he knows when they do go to the zoo they’ll hold her hand and tell her all the cool facts they know about each animal. He hopes it happens soon enough.

“Alright, well, I’m going to start dinner. You boys want to help me? Papa looks like he could use a nap,” Louis says, playing with Harry’s hair. The painkillers make him drowsy, and Louis can see his tiredness in his eyes. 

“Okay,” Lucas nods. “What are we having?”

“I was thinking spaghetti and meatballs,” Louis says. “How does that sound?”

“Mm,” Harry hums. “Sounds delicious.”

“Spaghetti and meatballs it is,” Louis smiles, dropping a kiss down onto Harry’s mouth. “Try and get some sleep, honey. I’ll wake you when we finish up dinner.”

“Thanks,” Harry smiles.

“Alright, boys, let’s go,” Louis claps.

They follow obediently, always willing to help Louis and Harry. They love to help cook and bake, which Louis is proud of. He doesn’t want his boys to follow bullshit stereotypes that they can’t enjoy to cook, so hopefully they keep it up. 

Louis has to help feed Harry for dinner, plus help Ava eat so she can get more in her mouth than on her face, but it’s good. They’re a strong family, and they’ll get through this one day at a time.  
~  
It’s right after Harry starts physical therapy that he brings it up. He’s out of the brace but he still can’t bend down to pick up the kids, or bend over for anything, really, but he’s making progress in strength. He still has a long road ahead of him, which is why Louis is so shocked he brings it up. 

“We should have another baby,” he says it so casually while they’re in bed. Louis has his glasses on, sketching out a men’s lingerie piece, something he’s been working on for a while. He plans to have a line of it for his next show, to allow men to feel just as good about themselves in the bedroom as women get to feel. Harry’s words make Louis stop in his tracks.

He takes off his glasses and looks at Harry lying flat on his back. “What?”

“Why not?” Harry asks. “I’m home now. It’s a perfect time to settle down and have another one.”

“I’m a bit busy, though,” Louis challenges. “I’m busy taking care of you and the kids and the house because, I don’t know if you know, but you’re not healed yet. How are we going to handle a newborn if you can’t even bend over yet?”

“By the time you get pregnant and actually have the baby,” Harry says slowly. “I should be totally healed. That gives us at least ten months.”

“Harry,” Louis sighs. “Babe, we haven’t even had proper sex yet because of this, and you want me to get pregnant?”

“You could ride me,” Harry says easily. “I don’t think that’s an issue.”

“I’m so busy right now, Haz,” Louis sighs. “I’d love to have another baby, but I don’t know if this is such a good time. I’ve got a lot on my plate and I don’t know if I could handle it all plus be pregnant at the same time. I’ve got so much to prepare for the spring show and that’ll be here before we know it. I don’t know if this is the best time for us.”

“Louis,” Harry groans. “If we wait until the ‘best time’ we’ll never have more kids. There never will be a best time. Something will always come up. You’ve been pregnant three times already and we both know it doesn’t stop you from working. I’d be here to help out, as always.”

“Not like you used to, though,” Louis runs his hand through his hair. “With your back like this, you can’t handle my weight if I get pregnant. You can’t try and help me up the stairs like you normally do. God forbid I fall and injure all three of us in one go. I don’t think this is a good time, sweetheart.”

“Don’t you want another baby?” Harry asks, his voice so sad. Harry takes his hand and places their linked fingers over Louis’ flat belly. “Don’t you miss being pregnant? You always say you love being pregnant, and you’re so soft and happy when you are. Like, it agrees with you so well. We could have another baby in the house, another sibling for the kids. They’d love another baby. We also have my mom and sister to help out when we need it. Louis, please.”

Louis really is tempted. He’d love to give Harry what he wants, give them another baby. He’d love to be pregnant again, to have a soft newborn to hold and cuddle. Harry’s right, though. If they wait, they’ll never get pregnant, and if they want a big family, they can’t wait forever to have another baby. 

“Alright,” Louis says softly. “We’ll try for another baby.”

“Really? You aren’t fucking with me?” Harry asks, and Louis shakes his head with a smile. 

“Another baby might be just what we need,” Louis shrugs. “It’ll get your mind off of football, and it’ll give something for the kids to get excited over.”

“Plus you love being pregnant,” Harry reminds him. “And I love you being pregnant.”

“And there’s that, yeah,” Louis smiles. “Okay, we’re trying.”

“We should start right away,” Harry says seriously, and Louis laughs.

“Oh, is that so?”

“No time to waste, Lou. We’ve got a baby to make.”

“Only for you and my kids would I drop my work for,” Louis smiles. He puts his work on the nightstand, picking up lube instead, and pulling off his pants, leaving his oversized shirt on. He’s careful about helping Harry out of his clothes, then straddles his hips.

Louis kisses him, soft and slow, while coating his fingers and fingering himself open. He feels like they haven’t done this in forever, and this gives them a good excuse to fuck every night possible. Louis can’t find anything wrong with that, really. 

“You know how horny I’m going to get when I’m pregnant,” Louis murmurs into his neck, scissoring two fingers inside of himself. “Always so bloody horny.”

“It’s just another perk,” Harry grins, holding his hips. “I can’t wait.”

“You better fix your back so you can fuck me proper, then,” Louis says sternly. “Gonna need the help.”

“Yes, sir,” Harry smirks. “I’m working on it.”

“Mmf,” Louis sighs. “Good.”

After he feels prepared well enough, he sits up, reaching for Harry’s big cock behind him and lining it up. When he presses the head inside of him, he has to bite his lip. He’s forgotten how massive his husband is, and the tip alone feels like a stretch, so fat. Louis eases down slowly, slowly, slowly, careful not to rip himself open. He’s done this enough times to know what he can and can’t take.

He reaches behind himself to hold onto Harry’s muscled thighs, helping his balance. He looks down to see Harry watching his every move, one hand holding his hip, one splayed across his belly, as if he’ll be able to feel the moment of conception. Louis is so fond of him.

“Forgot how fucking big you are,” Louis mumbles, feeling himself fill up slowly, stretching impossibly for Harry. 

“Forgot how tight you are,” Harry retorts. “I can’t wait until you’re knocked up with my baby and riding my cock just like this. Always look so beautiful.”

It’s no secret Harry has quite the pregnancy kink when it comes to Louis, and Louis won’t say he doesn’t have one himself. Sex is always better when he’s pregnant, hotter somehow. He becomes more sensitive everywhere. His skin tingles and his nipples become swollen and leak, his hole always greedy for anything.

“Can’t wait, either,” Louis agrees, settling his ass right over Harry’s large sac. He rolls his hips a few times, getting Harry’s cock to bump against his prostate in the process. 

“I love you so much,” Harry says suddenly, like he has to say this, has to make sure Louis knows. “I love you and our kids and our lives, even after this whole accident. I wouldn’t change anything.”

“’m so glad you feel that way, baby,” Louis says softly, picking up his hips to drop back down. “I love you too, always will.”

“You’re so perfect,” Harry says. “Such a good husband and father and you’re amazing at everything you do. You carry my babies so well, too.”

“Yeah,” Louis agrees, because his pregnancies have been amazing. His kids are healthy and that’s all that matters.

“Just wanna get you pregnant again, watch you grow with another one of my babies. You’re so amazing, I love you so much,” Harry rambles on, unable to move below Louis, so settles for speaking.

“You will,” Louis says confidently. “You’ll get me pregnant again. I’ll have another one of your babies, as many as you’d like.”

“God,” Harry chokes. “I love you so, so much.”

“I know, baby. I love you too,” Louis reminds him, stroking a hand down Harry’s chest down his muscled stomach. “I love you so much, too.”

Harry’s head seems to be all over the place, overwhelmed with the thought of having another baby, so Louis just wants to keep him above water. 

“Are you going to come, sweetheart?” Louis asks, bouncing on his cock. “Going to come inside of me and give me a baby?”

“Yes,” Harry moans. “Yes, please.”

“Okay,” Louis soothes. “I’ve got you, love. Go ahead, I’m ready.”

He keeps bouncing, clenching around Harry’s cock to pull him closer to his orgasm. Harry moans again, but tries to keep as quiet as possible for the sake of their sleeping kids. Louis moves faster, watching Harry carefully, feeling his own climax getting closer, his belly tightening up.

“Louis-“ Harry gasps, squeezing his hips and biting his lip. Louis knows that’s his orgasm face, so he stops moving, forcing his hips down all the way, and Harry comes hotly inside of him. Louis smiles at him and puts his hand over his belly. 

“Gonna make a baby with that, love.”

Harry whimpers, and Louis doesn’t want to let up, yet, wants to keep Harry’s come inside for a little longer, to be sure. So he rocks his hips, just to give himself the friction he needs on his prostate, then whines, his cock spurting out white ribbons onto Harry’s abs.

They’re both panting a bit, out of practice since it’s been so long for them. Louis grins at him, leaning over to kiss him, pulling on his bottom lip with his teeth.

“Just wanna,” Louis murmurs. “Stay here for a sec. Make sure it doesn’t go anywhere.”

Harry nods in agreement, even though it may seem superstitious or silly and illogical. But that’s how he got Ava, was by keeping himself on Harry’s cock for a little longer, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t at least try it.

“We’re gonna have another baby,” Harry whispers into their dark room after Louis has slid off and curled himself into Harry’s side.

“We’re gonna have another baby,” Louis repeats, smiling up at him.  
~  
It’s actually shocking how quickly Louis gets pregnant. They’re pretty sure the night they started to try was their date of conception, because it all moved so fast from there. They wait until he’s out of his first trimester, though, before they tell the kids and their families, wanting to be out of the woods for anything serious before getting everyone’s hopes up. 

They’re healthy, though, both the baby and Louis. The doctor smiles when they come in, telling them she’s happy they’re having another because they’re such amazing parents, and Louis’ pregnancies are always so smooth and easy. She has no doubt this baby will be any different.

Louis is a little nervous about telling the kids, though. He’s sure the twins will be okay, because they were so excited about their little sister, but Ava’s the baby, and she’s still young, so Louis hopes it goes well. Harry tells him not to worry about it, that she’ll be fine and they’ll all be happy. 

Harry decides it’s best if they take them out for ice cream, then break it to them there. They’ll at least have dessert to distract them.

“Is your ice cream good, honey?” Louis asks Ava, who’s sitting on Harry’s lap carefully, chocolate ice cream all over her face.

“Yummy!” she says happily, feeding a spoonful to Louis. Louis smiles and accepts it, thanking her. He didn’t get any ice cream himself, his nausea still present, so he figured avoiding such a decadent treat would help.

“Why didn’t you get any ice cream, daddy?” Lucas asks, licking his mint chocolate chip. Harry looks at him over his cookie dough cone, and Louis shrugs. Guess it’s a good time to tell them.

“Daddy doesn’t feel well,” Harry says for him. 

“Are you okay?” Joshua asks, sounding worried.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” Louis nods, grabbing a napkin and trying to wipe Ava’s face. “Actually, papa and I have to tell you all something.”

“Are we getting a puppy?” Lucas asks hopefully. He’s been pushing for a puppy for a while, but they’ve been so busy that they haven’t really had time to look into it. Louis figures they might as well get one, maybe. A small one. Something they can handle.

“Well, no, but, we can look into it soon,” Louis says. “But that’s not the news.”

“We’re getting a puppy?” Joshua asks excitedly. 

“We might,” Harry says. “But you are getting a new baby brother or sister soon.”

“We are?” Lucas asks.

“Yeah,” Louis nods. “Daddy’s got another baby in his tummy.”

“Again?” Joshua asks exasperatedly. Harry and Louis laugh.

“Yes, again,” Harry smiles. “Is that okay?”

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Lucas asks.

“We don’t know yet, babe. We’ll find out in a little while,” Louis explains.

“Ava, do you want daddy to have a baby?” Harry asks her. 

“Baby where?” Ava asks, obviously having been more focused on her ice cream than her family. 

“The baby is in daddy’s tummy,” Harry says, pointing to Louis’ belly, which only looks like he’s bloated, not pregnant, not yet, at least.

“Why?” Ava asked, confused. “You ate a baby? Yuck!”

“No, honey,” Louis smiles. “Papa gave daddy special seeds that I ate to grow the baby. It’s really, really tiny right now. But soon it’ll get bigger and you’ll have a brother or sister.”

Harry and Louis have used that explanation for the twins when he had Ava and when he was a surrogate. Being a surrogate was much harder to remember, but they stopped asking after a while. The seed story seems to work well, though.

“Oh,” Ava says. 

“Is that okay?” Harry asks. 

“Yeah, baby, like my dolls,” she shrugs.

“Yeah, kind of,” Louis replies. Ava ignores him to eat another bite of ice cream. 

“Boys?” Harry asks. “Is this okay?”

“Sure,” Lucas shrugs. “As long as we get a puppy, too.”

“Alright, that’s fair,” Louis laughs. “We’ll go this weekend.”

Harry and Louis share a private smile, and Harry blows him a kiss.  
~  
“Do you think this will be our last one?” Louis asks, putting his hand over his just slightly bloated belly. They’re sitting in bed together, Louis on his laptop and Harry scrolling through his phone. Louis is supposed to be checking emails, dealing with some issues back in the London office, with two of his very important employees leaving on maternity leave and one of them moving to Thailand for his husband’s company. It gives Louis a bit of his headache, so he looks at baby names instead. He’s only four months along, but thinking about the baby calms him down. He looks over at Harry, who’s looking at him with wide eyes and fish mouthing. 

“What? Our last baby?”

“Yeah,” Louis says.

“Do you want it to be?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Louis shrugs. “I just wasn’t sure if we were done or not. It’s our fourth.”

“I think it’s too early to tell, Lou,” Harry says, sitting up to put his hand on Louis’ back and one on his belly. “I don’t think we should make such a big decision, something so final. We should just let things happen. I mean, who knows? Things happen, yeah? Might be an accident, or maybe when the twins go away to college and we get lonely and decide to have another. We’ve got our whole life ahead of us. I think we could handle a whole bunch of kids, honestly.”

“You just like to see me pregnant,” Louis jokes.

“Well, it’s a plus, yes,” Harry laughs. “But let’s just…take things one day at a time, okay? We never know what might happen, and I don’t like thinking of something so finally. If it’s our last, then it’s our last, but we’re still young, we’ve got time. I mean, as long as you would want more, that is.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Louis smiles. 

“You’re so fertile,” Harry says, biting his neck. “Shouldn’t let it go to waste, really. It doesn’t seem fair to humanity. Took us no time to get pregnant with the twins, and how you got pregnant with twins again when you were a surrogate for Scott and Ryan, and with Ava and this baby it took us no time at all. You’re pretty much meant to be pregnant, I think.”

Louis laughs, folding himself into Harry’s side. Harry’s probably right, honestly. This is his fourth pregnancy, and they’ve all agreed with him, except for when he was a surrogate. He was fine during the pregnancy itself, talking to the babies inside of him and feeling them kick and being as careful as he could. He’d cry at the sonograms and sing them to sleep at night. But once he delivered, and finally realized he wasn’t going to be taking them home, that they weren’t actually his. He had another two boys, huffing when he found out he’s given birth to _four_ boys and zero girls. 

After giving birth, Louis took it ridiculously hard. Harry took him to the doctor, worried out of his mind, who diagnosed him with post partum depression. He put him on medication for it to get him through, to help him handle his job and his own boys. The doctor recommended that he not surrogate again, afraid of what it may do to his mental health. 

Right after Louis had healed enough, he begged Louis for another baby, a baby for them, a _girl_. Harry had been more than willing, agreeing that it would be best for them. Louis got pregnant within absolutely no time at all, and that seemed to fix him up well enough, and they made the decision to make sure every pregnancy he has will be for them. Ryan and Scott were beyond grateful, and bring the twins around to visit sometimes, always making sure they showed how happy they were with what he did for them. Louis felt amazing about it, but he knows it’s better for his family that he doesn’t do it again. He’s grateful that he was at least able to give them two babies.

“You’re right,” Louis sighs contently, relishing the feeling of Harry’s hand massaging his back and belly simultaneously. “No way we could make a decision like this.”

“Who knows,” Harry kisses the back of his neck. “We might settle down with the kids and decide that we want the crazy back in our house with a newborn. If we ever get bored I’ll just knock you up again.”

“Sure,” Louis laughs. “Whatever you say, big guy. But I’ll tell you this: this baby better be a girl. You’ve given me two boys. We need to even the playing field for our Ava.”

“Really?” Harry frowns. “I like her being the only girl. Like, the princess we all protect. She’s got her big brothers and her daddies and potential little brother. It’s sort of nice, innit?”

“I don’t want her to be the only girl in the house as she grows up, though,” Louis says, tracing his belly with his fingers. “Five men in the house versus one girl seems a bit rough on her.”

“I don’t think so,” Harry says comfortingly. “Like I said, if anything they’ll be more supportive. You see how good the boys are with her, yeah? They’re never rough with her because they know she’s smaller and not as tough as they are yet. She’ll be fine either way.”

“I like having girls,” Louis pouts. “They’re so gentle and she clings to me more than the boys, I think. Like, it feels like we have a closer bond or something, I don’t know.”

“The boys were attached to you too, babe,” Harry reminds him gently. “But they’re seven now. Big boys. They’re just growing up, ‘s normal and healthy.”

“I know,” Louis sighs. “Jesus, you’re right. I’m going to need to have a baby every few years just so I don’t get sad about them growing up.”

“Don’t talk like that, please,” Harry says. Louis knows Harry is still worried, always on his toes to make sure Louis isn’t slipping back into his depression, but Louis keeps reminding him he’s absolutely fine, better than fine. Being pregnant also really makes him feel better, somehow. He’s never really alone, and he feels like he’s got such a major purpose when he’s with child. Who knew being pregnant could be so good for someone’s health?

“I’m fine, baby,” Louis reminds him again, as he always will, to make sure he gets the message. “I’m so happy with our life and our family. ‘m just saying, another baby probably is in the cards for us somewhere, maybe a few more, I don’t know. I love having your children.”

“And I love you having them,” Harry says, dropping a kiss to his shoulder. “You should get some rest. I can tell you’re still tense about work.”

“I’m trying not to be,” Louis promises. He knows he has to watch his stress levels for the health of him and the baby and Harry tries makes sure of that. 

“How about I rub some lotion on your belly, maybe rub your thighs a little bit, maybe eat you out if you want, and you can sleep?” Harry offers and Louis preens.

“Mm,” Louis hums. “I could use that.”

“I know,” Harry smiles, moving around to grab the special stretch mark lotion and settling himself between Louis’ thighs after ridding him off his pants. Louis has always been particularly horny during his pregnancies, especially with Ava. In the middle of the night, he’d break out into a sweat, his cock hard as he desperately tried to get off, becoming frantic and fitful in his sleep. He only had vague memories after waking up from it, but when Harry told him about it, actually _concerned_ about it, Louis had to beg him to get him off if it were to happen again. So, they had an agreement that if Harry woke up in the middle of the night to find Louis like that, which he so often did, he’d help get him off. Most times, he didn’t even wake up. He’d come, fall pliant, and stay asleep usually for the rest of the night. 

It’s still early in the pregnancy, and the horniess isn’t excessive yet. It usually hits later, when he’s big and uncomfortable and moodier than ever. Harry will deal with it when the time comes. 

Louis lifts up his t-shirt to expose his stomach to allow Harry to rub lotion onto his taut skin. He, thankfully, barely has any stretchmarks. Harry religiously puts lotion on his belly and thighs during every pregnancy, and Louis thinks it’s done miracles for his skin, which he’s grateful for.

His belly is still small, just a small swell that Harry adorns with kisses whenever possible. Louis watches him carefully, peppering kisses everywhere and spreading the coconut-smelling cream on him. He makes sure to put a little extra by his hips, where he stretches out the most. 

Harry then rubs it into his thighs, giving him a blissful massage to relieve any sort of cramping in them. Louis closes his eyes and let’s Harry do the work he’s gotten so good at doing after four pregnancies. He could probably do it in his sleep, really. 

Louis feels his cock start to thicken during it, unable to help how good the intimate touching feels. He doesn’t move, though, just waits it out. He’s learned to be extremely patient and quiet when the time comes. When you have three kids, quiet is the key to sex. When it’s like this, dark in the room, quiet and calming, Louis can ignore the dull throb in his cock. He can wait all night until Harry helps him out, gets him to come and release all tension from his body. It’s therapeutic, he thinks. 

His legs get put over Harry’s shoulders, and he doesn’t bother to open his eyes. He keeps his hands pressed on his belly, feeling for any small flutters. He feels Harry’s breath ghosting over his hole, and it sends a shiver right down his spine. He bites his lip and lets out a small gasp. He could let Harry eat him out for hours, days, weeks, and would never once get bored. 

Harry doesn’t say anything, and Louis is sure it’s so they don’t ruin this peaceful silence. The atmosphere is perfect for this, gets Louis into the right headspace. He doesn’t think about work, about the three employees leaving at once, or the new line he’ll have to work on quickly if he wants to get it done before the spring show. None of it comes to mind when he’s like this; splayed out for Harry to take. 

Harry licks a long stripe over his hole, up his taint, and sucks his balls into his mouth. Louis tries to keep his breathing even, just like he does with his Mommy and Me plus his Lamaze classes. He first thought they were both so stupid, and he was so angry with Harry for recommending it, but now, he doesn’t know how he could make it through the pregnancy without the techniques. 

Keeping his breathing even helps him relax, helps him stay still and enjoy it properly. He’s sure he won’t last that long, considering he’s pregnant and Harry may just be that good. 

Harry licks him open, takes his time as if he’s precious, as if he’s a delicious ice cream cone that Harry wants to savor. Harry’s hands squeeze at Louis’ thighs around his head, his nose nuzzling against his sensitive taint. It’s always ten times more sensitive when he’s pregnant, and Harry damn well knows it. 

Louis can feel his cock leaking onto his tummy, drooling precome as Harry’s tongue presses into him, pushing past the puckered muscle of his hole. Harry’s nose brushes his balls as he licks hotly inside of him, twisting his tongue in the most delightful way. 

Louis is able to ignore his cock completely now, whether Harry eats him out or fucks him or whatever he does. Harry’s mastered getting him to come completely untouched, trained him so well that Louis doesn’t even think to touch himself anymore. It’s extremely rare Harry touches him either. He definitely enjoys playing with Louis’ balls, suckling them or palming them, sometimes rubbing his cock over the sack, but won’t usually touch his actual shaft. He doesn’t even need to. 

Louis is sure Harry’s jaw must ache, but he can’t be positive, because he does this so often he must have the strongest jaw in the world. He’s close, anyway, so it won’t matter much. He feels his balls drawing up tighter, his thighs trembling pleasantly under Harry’s touch. He presses his hands against his belly a little harder, just to give himself some leverage but not enough to hurt in any way. 

He doesn’t have to give a warning anymore. Harry knows well enough when he’s close, knows Louis better than he knows himself at this point. They’ve done this enough to learn each other quirks, so it comes as no surprise when Louis lets out a gasp, his back arching slightly as he comes powerfully onto his stomach. Call him crazy or weird or whatever, but he’s pretty convinced come helps stretchmarks, too. He rubs his hand over the sticky mess and drags it across his skin, his belly heaving with the big breaths he’s taking to get back to normal. 

Harry looks up between his legs, and Louis motions him over. They kiss, sloppy and mess and perfect. Louis usually would give him a blowjob to thank him, but he’s so, so tired. He doesn’t even have to speak, because Harry knows, of course. He also knows the next best thing.

Harry straddles his thighs and wraps his hand around his own aching cock, aiming at his belly button as he tugs a few forceful times. Louis already knows how much eating Louis out gets him off, gets him so hard he barely has to try to come afterwards. Within moments, he’s biting his lip and furrowing his brow like he always does, painting Louis’ belly with his own mess. Louis does the same thing he did with his own, spreading it over the bump and gazing up at Harry with hooded eyelids. 

“Feel better?” Harry asks. He’s not even smug about it. He’s so genuinely curious and concerned about how Louis feels, even after a wonderful orgasm.

“Much,” Louis replies sleepily. His mouth can barely form words at this point. 

Harry kisses him again, soft and tender, before he gets up to grab something to clean Louis with. Louis closes his eyes again, feeling so pleasantly tired as he keeps a hand soothing circles over his tummy, always wanting to touch it.

When Harry gets back, he moves Louis’ sticky hand and kisses the inside of his palm, wiping it clean with a wet flannel and then wiping his belly off, spreading more kisses as he goes. He puts on a second coat of lotion, since most of it was wiped off. He pulls his t-shirt down for him and crawls next to Louis. He helps position him so his leg is over the body pillow, belly happily snuggled against it, and Harry plasters himself to his back, putting his hand over his stomach protectively. He kisses the back of his neck, drawing patterns on his tummy before whispering an “I love you” in his ear.

Louis hopes he manages to say it back before falling asleep.  
~  
“You feeling okay?” Louis asks when Harry crawls into bed that night with a groan.

“Just have a bit pain in my back,” Harry sighs.

“Want me to give you a massage, then?” Louis asks. “Might help ease the tension. You picked up Ava a lot more than you should have.”

“I know,” Harry sighs. “She just asked me a lot, and I hate not being able to. I’ve been feeling a lot better, though, so I figured I could handle it.”

“I know you’ve gotten a lot stronger, baby, but Ava is getting bigger and heavier now. She’s even hard for me to pick up, so don’t strain yourself so much. Can’t have you reinjure yourself before I need you for this baby.”

“My next boy,” Harry grins, putting his hand over Louis’ 5-month belly, growing his son.

“Yeah,” Louis scoffs. “ _Another_ boy, what a surprise.”

“You’re happy,” Harry grins. “You know it.”

“Well, this just means we’ll have to have another baby so I can try for another girl,” Louis shrugs.

“I guess so,” Harry grins.

“C’mon, roll onto your stomach, I’ll give you a massage.”

“You sure you’re up to it?” Harry asks, looking worried. Louis rolls his eyes at his concern.

“I’m just fine, love. You’re not, though. So roll over.”

Harry sighs with a fond smile and listens to his husband. Louis grabs the massage oil off of his nightstand and straddles Harry’s back. Harry’s already got his shirt off, a shit rare for him to sleep in. 

Louis pours the lavender massage oil onto Harry’s back, the scent calming to allow sleep. He rubs it into his skin, putting enough pressure to get his muscles to relax. Harry moans happily, closing his eyes and letting Louis work out his knots. Louis smiles and digs his palms into his shoulders. Harry’s not quite as muscular as he was during his football prime, but that’s to be expected. He was working out like crazy and now he’s not even able to lift weights yet. He still looks incredible, though. More realistic, Louis thinks. Not everyone can be a professional football player. 

“Feels amazing, babe,” Harry sighs happily.

“Good,” Louis murmurs, leaning down to kiss between his shoulder blades. “Try and fall asleep, honey.”

“Okay,” Harry says, already sounding tired. Louis rubs him down until he hears Harry snoring below him. He smiles and only struggles slightly as he gets off of Harry without waking him. He lies beside him and takes his hand, putting it over his belly, and falls asleep easily.  
~  
Louis really is ridiculously horny when he’s pregnant, especially towards the end.

He’s due soon, now. Just about a week or so left, and he could pop at any point, really. He’s huge, but not uncomfortable. He adjusts to it well, finding the right positions and he’s convinced his conversations with the baby help. He’ll rub at his belly, asking politely if he would stop kicking daddy, maybe sing him a song, and he stops. Louis has a magic touch, or something. 

His hormones are the worst at night.

Harry fucked him well before he fell asleep, his belly against his body pillow and Harry snuggled behind him in their usual sleep arrangement. But even when Louis is asleep, it’s this insatiable need to be fucked and filled. His hole twitches, searching for something to fill it, like he’s a dog in heat.

He squirms in his sleep, rutting his cock into his pillow eagerly, even though he knows it won’t be enough, not by a long shot. He needs to be filled. 

“Harry,” he whimpers pitifully, still deep in sleep. Harry wakes up, though, Louis moving against him enough to get him to come out of his sleep. He sighs, hating to see Louis so desperate and uncomfortable even in sleep. Even if he were to fuck him in his sleep, it wouldn’t be enough, because he’d eventually finish, his cock going soft, and unable to help.

That’s when he realizes he’s an idiot and the answer is so obvious.

He rolls over in bed, reaching under the bed for the box of toys they have. He picks out a buttplug, one of their bigger ones, and smiles. He can’t believe he hasn’t thought of this before.

Louis’ main thing when he gets like this is to be filled. That’s really all he wants. It’s not about friction or getting fucked, just having something snuggled inside of him, and this is absolutely perfect.

Harry pours some lube on it, enough to make it an easy glide into Louis’ already loose hole from their earlier fuck. He rolls back over, lifting Louis’ leg a little bit onto his pillow to expose his fucked-open hole. He presses the glass plug against his skin, Louis preferring the feeling of something cool and solid in his warm body. Louis moans happily, pressing his hips back as Harry forces the toy into him. Once it slips past the biggest part, it easily falls into place, Louis letting out another pleased moan. Harry taps it, making sure it’s in far and secure, and Louis, amazingly, stops squirming, and Louis notices he’s come in his pants and fell back into to a peaceful sleep. Harry can’t believe he didn’t do this sooner.

They’re both able to sleep easier after that.  
~  
When Louis wakes up he feels more rested than he has in weeks. He must not have been squirming as much as normal, he thinks. But then, when he moves around a bit, he realizes he’s full. He’s confused, for starters, and when he looks behind him, Harry is snoring away. it’s definitely not his cock inside of him, it’s different. He clenches down on it and reaches behind himself, and oh, it’s his favorite plug, and his pants are stuck to him in that telltale sign that he’s come in them.. He laughs quietly to himself, thankful that Harry though of something so genius for him to do. It obviously helped him sleep better, since he feels a lot more rested than normal, and he’s so grateful his husband knows him this well. He’s able to fall back to sleep again, wrapped in Harry’s arms.  
~  
“So, Louis,” an interviewer asks before the fall fashion show. “We see you’re expecting again!”

“Yeah,” Louis laughs, putting his hand over his belly. He’s nearly eight months along now, but he absolutely had to be here. His men’s lingerie launched almost three years ago now, and it’s been ridiculously popular since. So, Louis’ been adding and adding; different styles, different colors, different fabric. Most of his line this season is men’s lingerie and lots of sweaters and jackets and clothing appropriate for autumn. 

He fills the baby kick and smiles fondly. “Number five.”

“Five?” the interviewer asks, shocked. “You and your husband are busy!”

“Please,” Louis scoffs fondly. “If it were up to him, we wouldn’t stop until we had a football team of our own.”

“Do we know the sex yet?”

“Another boy,” Louis rolls his eyes. “That makes four boys and one girl for us. I told Harry we’re going to have to keep trying until I get another girl, and he’s obviously not complaining.”

“We know he had quite an injury a few years back. How is he doing?”

“Oh, he’s doing great now. He has to be careful, because it’s easier to reinjure it now that he’s done it once, but he’s doing well. He’s a lot stronger now and pretty much back to his old self. He’s actually coaching our sons’ football team now. Hard to believe they’re already ten years old.”

“What are the kids names again?” she asks.

“We have Lucas and Joshua, our twins. Ava is our little five years old princess, and Ethan just turned two. Then this little guy,” Louis holds the bottom of his belly. “will be meeting us in just about a month or so.”

“Well best of luck to you and Harry! You have to be our favorite couple,” she grins and Louis laughs.

“Yeah, we seem to like each other enough.”

“Is he here today?” 

“Of course, he always comes,” Louis says, smiling. “He’s managed to round up our troops and come, yeah. I’m hoping he’s sane after leaving.”

“Best of luck to you and the family,” she smiles. “We’ll let you get back to work.”

“Thank you,” Louis smiles back. He puts his hands on his lower back and sighs when they walk away, feeling drained already. He waddles around, making sure everything is correct and everything will run smoothly. 

“Feeling okay, Louis?” one of the makeup artists asks him, fixing the models foundation. 

“Just fine, love,” Louis smiles. “Just a bit of a long day for us,” Louis rubs his belly. The show was in London this year, and Louis told Harry, begged him, that he just couldn’t miss it. So, they flew to London before Louis got too big to fly. He’s still got his old place, which is now filled with toys and bedrooms for the kids when they visit. He’s glad that he kept it, so now they can visit and stay comfortably. So the plan is for him to give birth in London and they’ll head back to California right after. This way, Louis’ family will just be a drive away to meet their son, instead of arranging another flight over. It seems to level the playing field a little bit. 

Harry was worried about it at first, how it would work, but he’s homeschooling the twins and Ava for this year, allowing them to travel and keep Louis active in his job. Harry’s so good about this, so willing to make sacrifices to give Louis what he wants, to ensure he’s still got a life, even with such a big family. 

“This your last one?” she asks.

“Probably not,” Louis laughs. “We love kids, I suppose. And I’m very determined to have my second daughter.”

“Good for you, really. I don’t know how you do it. I barely can handle my one,” she says in awe.

“We make a pretty great team,” Louis admits. It gets hard, of course, but they love it. They love the craziness of their house, having so many kids running around, having people shake their head in amazement when they hear Louis is pregnant _again_. So, no, Louis doesn’t think this is their last. Not yet.  
~  
When Louis gets pregnant again two years later, they decide to keep the sex a secret, Louis hoping to be pleasantly surprised. Everyone they know has begun to expect these pregnancies, now. Harry and Louis laugh, but they’re happy, so happy.

When Louis gives birth and they announce that no, there is no penis on this one, and yes, it’s a girl, Louis doesn’t stop crying the whole day.

“Daddy can I see my brother, please?” Ava asks politely when they come to visit, just assuming that’s all her father is capable of having. There are so many boys in the house.

“No brother this time, sweetheart,” Louis grins. “You’ve got a little sister.”

“Girl baby?” Aiden, their two year old, asks from Harry’s arms.

“Yeah, that’s a girl baby,” Harry confirms with a grin. 

“Finally,” Lucas says. “Does this mean you’re done having babies, dad?”

Louis and Harry share a look, laughing. They kept telling everyone they were trying for their second girl, and now they have it. Six kids.

“Not sure, sweetheart,” Louis bites back a grin. Harry grins right back.

“We’re going to have 10 brothers and sisters,” Joshua rolls his eyes.

“There are worse things,” Harry says. “Better than having no brothers and sisters.”

“I like babies,” Ava shrugs. “They’re so cute.”

“I like babies too!” Ethan says happily. Louis laughs, caressing the newborns cheek.

“What is her name, daddy?” Ava asks.

“Olivia,” Louis says softly. “Little Olivia Styles.”

Harry shares a smile with him, absolutely glowing.

“Welcome to the family, Olivia,” Harry says, kissing her forehead. “You’re gonna love it.”  
~  
“You’re happy, right?” Louis whispers, their seventh baby settled inside of Louis’ tummy for five months now. This one was a complete accident, really, produced by a weekend away to Martha’s Vineyard. Neither was surprised nor disappointed by it. 

His round belly is pressing against Harry’s side, and Harry’s large hand is splayed across it. It’s a miracle he’ll never get over.

“Yeah, baby, I’m happy. I’m so happy,” Harry whispers back, kissing his forehead. “Are you? Happy?”

“Of course,” he replies softly. “I love my life, I love our life. It’s a bit mad sometimes, and we’re probably crazy for having this many kids, but I love it. Sometimes I worry about what it’ll be like to know one of them will be the last, to know I won’t be pregnant again.”

“Don’t worry about that, baby,” Harry murmurs. “You know that if you were ever feeling sad about it I’d give you another one, no question. We’re pretty great at this parenting thing, I must say.”

“Yeah,” Louis chuckles. “But we’ll get too old one day. Especially me, when I physically can’t get pregnant again.”

“Don’t think about it,” Harry says firmly. “It’ll make it worse. You’ve got a lot of good, fertile years ahead. Like we said all those years ago: we’ll see what happens. Things change and we can never be sure of what will happen. We’ll take it day by day. For right now, we just have to enjoy it.”

“You’re right,” Louis sighs, kissing his pec. “Always know how to calm me down.”

“’s why we’ve been married so long,” Harry smiles. 

“Are you ever unhappy? You know, with me? or like, how you had to retire from football so early, and now you don’t have that one thing to do every day?”

“No, Louis, never,” Harry tells him honestly. “I was sad as hell when it happened, but then I just…got over it. I realized that I had a lot of good years, and that I don’t have anywhere important to be other than with my husband and kids. I don’t stress over meetings or eating healthy or excessive traveling. I love you, and I love being home. It’s so nice to have a job like this. I get to cook all I want, all these fun recipes, I get to play games with my kids and find crafts for them that I know they’ll enjoy and help them develop, and I love having such a big part in it all. I love the fact that we made them together, that we’re able to do something so beautiful. I’m not unhappy, ever, Louis. This is where I belong, and this is the one thing I do every day. I wouldn’t change that for anything, I swear to you.”

“You don’t get upset knowing I still do what I love, even though you can’t?” Louis whispers, always worried he’ll make Harry feel bad, feel like Louis has it all and Harry doesn’t.

“God, no, Louis,” Harry says. “I’m so fucking proud of you, you don’t even know. You scarified so much for me when we were first together. You moved here for me, you moved a whole business, you got pregnant even though you hated it at first. I felt terrible all the time. I want you to succeed in every way, baby. You’re so talented. You love what you do, and you’re so good at it, and I hope you never stop. Don’t ever think I feel…jealous or bitter or whatever you might think. Never worry about that, okay? I’m so, so happy, and I want you to be happy. You do so fucking much for me and this family. You helped me so much when I had surgery and you basically had to take over for me for a long time, and you’re so fucking amazing. God, I love you so much you have no idea. Every day I find myself more in love with every part of you, and I’m so grateful you deemed me good enough to spend your life with, because I look forward to all of it.”

Louis is crying, and he’ll blame it on the hormones, if anyone asked. He has such an overwhelming sense of love and adoration for his husband, so much that it aches in his very core.

“I love you so much,” Louis whispers slowly. “There is no one I this world that I would live this life for. I’m so grateful to have you by my side, supporting everything I do and being such an incredible father to our many kids.”

Harry laughs, kissing him softly. Neither of them say anything else after that, their silence comfortable and perfect. Harry keeps his hand over Louis’ belly, and Louis keeps his hand over Harry’s heart. When Louis falls asleep, he feels like he’s been wrapped in love. 

They’ll be together forever, Louis thinks, even after it’s all over, when the world is nothing but ashes; they’ll be together, somewhere, somehow.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is hilourry and i love feedback :)


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